


i needed a way to see you again

by thacmis



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Art, Crossdressing, Digital Painting, Ficlet, Illustration, M/M, Pining, Portraits, Romance, Secret Identity, Spring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-08 02:20:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5479664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thacmis/pseuds/thacmis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charles, through the eyes of Erik.</p><p>A day in spring, under blooming sakura trees.</p><p>(Digital painting gift for Geertrui)</p>
            </blockquote>





	i needed a way to see you again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Geertrui](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geertrui/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Beneath the Jacaranda](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5107427) by [Geertrui](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geertrui/pseuds/Geertrui). 



> The title is taken from Geert's second geisha fic, [call me by name](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5437151). It's my favourite, favourite line of the story. The context is that when Erik misses Charles and wants to see him but can't, he draws Charles instead. (Read my end notes and you'll understand why I chose this line)
> 
> [Beneath the Jacaranda](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5107427?page=1&show_comments=true&view_full_work=true#comments) is about Charles posing as a female geisha and falling inadvertently in love with one of his clients, one Erik Lehnsherr, who does not know of his secret.
> 
> As I was reading the story, I kept seeing Charles, in a kimono and in make-up, gazing adoringly at Erik. And I kept seeing that moment through Erik's eyes, Erik who is so, so in love with this beautiful geisha. 
> 
> Dear, dear Geert, since I'm not telepathic (that _would_ be the power I'd like to have, actually), I tried my best pouring all the feelings your fic gave me into this painting. :') I love the fic so, so much; thank you so much for writing it.
> 
> (Songs of insp.: [The Chainsmokers - Roses](https://youtu.be/FyASdjZE0R0) and [Rachel Platten - Better Place](https://youtu.be/50gPTzjhmhA))

 

Erik's heard all about the beauty of the sakura trees blooming in the spring. It's one of the most beautiful, peaceful scenes in the world, his friends have said, when cherry trees embrace the new spring, their soft pink snow a quiet transition from the unforgiving winter white into warmer days, their petals painting the air with a faintly sweet aroma.

But Erik's looking instead at the girl walking beside him, the girl whose laughter and clear blue eyes and demure little smiles have stolen his heart, whose wit and intelligence and kindness of heart have him longing to spend every minute he can spare to be beside her.

She catches him looking now, and quirks a delicate eyebrow in a silent question. 

He clears his throat, blushing a little. "Just... you are beautiful, Raven."

There is a short, puzzling moment where she seems to look...stricken with immense sadness, but it is gone so quickly Erik believes it to be his imagination. She smiles at him then, her cheeks pink as the soft sakura petals falling around her, and his chest feels tight with just how beautiful she is, how much he loves her. 

They continue to stroll through the park, enjoying the sights and the small cups of food they pick up from the stalls. Their conversations, like always, run smoothly and effortlessly from one topic to the next. But when he looks carefully, there is a muted sadness hidden deep in her smiles. Though he does not comment, does not push, his heart aches for her, for this unknown sadness that she is burdened with, and he wishes that someday he can help her smile without it.

**Author's Note:**

> [[Tumblr link to art here](http://68.media.tumblr.com/8a6cf4e0f431135148650f474cab05ee/tumblr_nz4qsibcAJ1rwseq6o1_r2_1280.png)]
> 
> As Erik is canonically an artist in this AU (read [call me by name](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5437151)), in my head, this is an oil painting by Erik himself. He's thinking about this moment as he works on it. I like to imagine that this takes place after [call me by name](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5437151), and Erik steals moments to paint when Charles and the girls are out of the okiya. It's an anniversary gift for his lover :'3 (At this point, let's say Erik is staying at the okiya, sharing a room with Charles :D)
> 
> (During the weeks he's secretly working on his painting, he takes to gazing at Charles a little more than usual - he already gazes at Charles a lot, so now it's getting a little Too Intense. Erik also takes to touching Charles' face a lot, to feel out its landscape, because tactile knowledge of an object reinforces visual memory (at least it's true for me), especially in art, and Erik _needs_ to get all the details _right_. Charles is understandably confused - "Erik? What are you - what are you doing" "Nothing, Charles")
> 
> ((After the painting is given and happy tears are shed, obviously the gazing and the touching drops in intensity, and Charles is flustered that he finds himself missing it :3 the dork))


End file.
